Rue Hass, a lovely lady and Master EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner, shared this in her most recent newsletter, and I want to pass it on to you. (Rue’s site is at www.intuitivementoring.com.) Here it is…

Finding What You Didn’t Lose

When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you,
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!
When someone deeply listens to you,
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.
~ John Fox ~

As I read it and take it in, my mind’s-eye goes to the brilliant children we are all parenting, who long for us to just listen, and to really get who they are, and understand the pain they have experienced. Not so that we can fix them, but so that we can walk with them as they find their own paths through their dark nights.

I also think of, and feel for, all of us–parents, grandparents, therapists, agency workers, teachers–who are called to this journey of caring for these challenging children, and how our own souls are soothed when we are deeply listened to by someone who doesn’t try to assure us that things are not as bad as they seem, and who doesn’t offer us the advice we’ve already heard and tried to no avail.

There’s a time for problem-solving and advice-giving, and a time for deep listening; what a gift when we have someone in our lives who is able to discern the right time for each! (Or to simply ask, “What is it that you’re needing from me right now?”)

Do you have a deep listener in your life? If you do, let them know how much they are appreciated. If you don’t, find someone (or someones) who can fill that role. Perhaps in a support group, or in a spiritual community. Or maybe you’d like to learn a practice such as Focusing or Nonviolent Communication, both of which will bring you into contact with others who value the healing power of deep listening and empathy.

Whatever road you take, remember that you don’t have to walk it alone. There are those who are also on the road, some walking ahead, some behind…and some who will walk right alongside of you, listening. Treasure them all.